Naked Ladies

Molly had daily swimming lessons the last couple of weeks.  At 9 in the morning.  That meant that I loaded up all three kids, swimming gear, plus any additional gear/meals we would need for any play dates we had afterward.  It went a hell of a lot better than you might think.  I take a really crazy amount of pride in saying that in the two weeks she had class we were always there and we were never late.


One of these mornings we go to the locker room after Molly has showered.  The locker room is completely filled with naked old women.  Seriously.  Very naked, very old women.  I'd like to know the exact hormone cocktail I need to take when I hit menopause to avoid the desire to be tits out naked in public.  It's apparently some primal urge that begins in toddlerhood, rears its head at frat parties or around Girls Gone Wild cameras, then returns, full force at about 50, unleashing itself upon innocent locker rooms all over the country.

But anyway, Molly stands up on one of the benches in the locker room (which she's not supposed to do) and promptly tumbles off.  She immediately laughs and stands up, so I know she's not been mortally wounded.  She then proceeds to dance around and dawdle, and gawk at the naked women. At this point I turn into the annoying hurry up mommy, and prod her to move it along as we were going to be meeting friends in the park.

One of the naked women decides to tell me that I need to relax and just enjoy my kids while they're young, they won't be that way forever, etc.  I just nodded and smiled, thinking that it was a nice sentiment, that she was just being friendly.  But as I thought about the incident later I started to get a little annoyed.  I mean here I am, standing in a hot, humid locker room, two kids strapped to my body, surrounded my oddly hairless naked old women.  I think I've earned the right to be a little impatient with my dawdling, gawking daughter.  Especially since I know that within 10 minutes of Molly getting dressed and out of the locker room that we will be at the park, enjoying a gorgeous day with good friends. 

Not to mention the fact that I do enjoy my children.  That's why I kept having them, and that's why my husband and I worked so hard so that I can stay home with them.  I am keenly aware that time is fleeting and that they won't be small and cuddly forever.  Eventually they will go to school and play sports and join clubs and do all sorts of things that don't involve me.  But for now we will continue to do fun things together, like go to the park, visit the library, make cookies and explore the museum.  Not on the list of awesome?  Being cooped up in a steamy locker room, listening to naked old women bitch at us.