Conversations with Molly

Molly:  "Whenever I breathe my butt hurts."

Me:     "How does breathing make your butt hurt."

Molly:  "I don't know, I just breathe funny."

Molly:  "I can't swim in the water."

Me:     "Where can you swim then?"

Molly:  "In the swimming pool."

Me:     "Doesn't the pool have water?"

Molly:  "Yes, the kind you can swim in, not this water."

Molly:  "I can't sleep with a (stuffed) animal. They might get hungry and I don't want to use my boobies."

Molly:  "I want a bra."

Us:      "..."

Molly:  "I want a brawl."

Molly:  "Mommy, I'm really pissed off at these stories."
Me:     "Don't say pissed off, why are you pissed off?"
Molly:  "They're boring. I'm pissed off at these boring stories."
Me:     "Don't say pissed off. I'm sorry you have boring stories, pick out something not boring."
Molly:  "That can't be happening."