Because I'm an asshole

You know when you're driving along, minding your own business and out of nowhere some asshole in a huge car nearly mows you down?  Yeah, that happened to me the other day.  The being the asshole in the huge car and nearly mowing someone down part.

After dropping Molly off at preschool I was heading home with the other two kids and was clearly just not paying enough attention.  Short explanation is this, I stayed in the right lane, which turns into a turn lane even though I really wanted to go straight.  And once I realized my mistake (by "realized" I mean that the driver to the left of me, who was in the correct lane began honking at me and flipping me off) I didn't fix it, no, I compounded that shit.  Instead of just stopping, waiting for the honking car to pass, then gracefully slipping into the correct lane I decided to just turn right.  Mostly because I can't stand to be anywhere near the driver/vehicle I have just wronged.  It's just so goddamned embarrassing.  Seriously, I know they're still swearing at me and mentally re-hashing my bad driving.  That's what I do...and I know I'm not the only person who does that.

But anyway, so I decide to turn right, completely ignoring the fact that I'm almost a whole car- (and by car, I mean super-swank, sexy-bitch minivan) length past the turn.  Yeah.  So I basically execute this bastardized u-turn onto the side street.

The side street that has an oncoming SUV.  Who has slammed on her brakes.

And is also flipping me off.

Fuck.

At that point I pretty much just ducked underneath the dashboard and slammed the gas pedal home to escape my humiliation.  Okay, not really.  But I may have sped away from the scene a little bit.

And taught my two year old how to say fuck 'cause he can kind of talk now.  Yay, speech therapy!

Anyway, we lived, little man isn't dropping the f-bombs like I was afraid he might, but I still can't bear to drive down Benton street.

Here's a little pictorial re-enactment for your viewing pleasure. You can stop being jealous of my amazing art skills now, too.

I'm the red arrow.  The purple arrows are my innocent victims.  The little asterisk thingies?  When they started hurling obscenities at me.