Pest? Or Preschooler?

Joel McHale has a great stand up routine in which he discusses the toddler parent genius/retard (don't get all Sarah P on my ass, he used the term, not me) dilemma.  It's about spending a good chunk of your time trying to determine if your kid is a genius or a retard based on all of the silly little toddler things he/she does.  Kid flips lights on, genius!  Kid flips lights off, gets scared, can't turn light back on, retard!  That sort of thing.  If you like that kind of humor, google it, it's funny, you'll LOL and stuff.

Well, I have my own little dilemma going on now that I'll refer to as "pest or preschooler".  I don't actually use the term "pest" when thinking about this myself, I use something far more colorful.  But not too colorful as I am referring to my daughter, even if she is being naughty.  But anyway, it boils down to trying to decide if my 4-year-old is just a hopeless bully who will never have any friends 'cause she's totally mean, or if she's just being a typical 4-year-old, but I don't realize that 'cause she's my first 4-year-old.

I've had several people reassure me that Molly is a pretty typical 4-year-old, but still, I find myself playing this game more and more every day.  Molly has always erred a little on the less side of the sensitive scale, but lately it's been exaggerated.  She's become very physical (poor Max), and she's also started talking cruelly to other children.  Not insults, 'cause she's not there yet, but tone; she uses a haughty/cruel tone with other kids.  And the pushiness.  Oh dear, she's a pushy little girl, it's her way or the highway.

Until recently I never had to worry about Molly's behavior when we were on outings or hanging out with our friends, she would be a bit shy at first, then she'd play pretty nicely.  Every so often I would have to remind her to stop being so bossy.  But lately I've found myself having to step in and correct her behavior more and more.  There's been some hitting, some pushing, and even some barking (yes, barking) and it's scaring other kids away.  Obviously it's embarrassing for me, nobody wants to have the mean kid in a group.  But worse, is that I'm afraid that it's going to start affecting her negatively soon.  She's going to be the little girl that nobody wants to play with (and no parents want their kids around) and that would absolutely break my heart. 

I know I'm being silly, and I know it probably really is a phase, but still, I worry.  I don't want people to see a hitting, barking little girl.  I want everybody to see the Molly that I see.  She's silly, and she's smart and she has a huge imagination that is filled with fairies, cotton candy and awesome.  That Molly is a lot of fun to hang out with.



I had to pause in the middle of typing this post to get her to stop whacking her brother with a string of Bud Light Lime beads.  Twice.