Mostly whining

I've been terrible about posting. It's not that I haven't had the time, or even the inclination. Mostly I've just lacked follow through. Seriously. I can think of about 300 things I need/want to do, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Frankly I've just been a little depressed. Some of it is seasonal, but a lot of it is me taking things far too personally and letting far too much get to me. The rest of it is my own personal bullshit that I really need to take care of because it's kind of making me an asshole. I've talked about some of that with my husband, but I'm not sure that I'm ready to talk about it here, even if I don't really have many readers. Maybe I'll start another blog that I don't update regularly enough!  =)

One of the things that's been bothering me is my mom's group. A couple of years ago when I had a firm date for staying home I did some research and stumbled on a local mom's group run through a website devoted to getting people out and "meeting up." I went ahead and joined it, and somehow got over my sometimes crippling shyness and actually went to a gathering. I totally expected very stereotypical stuck up stay at home mom bitchy kind of ladies. Totally not the case. Everybody was really just awesome. Once I began staying home I became pretty active in the group.

Somehow in the past year and a half I've inadvertently become the main organizer. Unfortunately I've become an organizer at a time when membership seems to be in flux. A lot of the older members have gone on to pursue other things (many of them friendships made within the group), other people just don't go out much in the winter, and the others, well, who knows. Either way, there's not a lot of activity, either in attending or in helping schedule events.

This type of situation should be a challenge for me. And sometimes I want it to be, but most of the time it just isn't. Honestly, I just said I'd take over the group so that it wouldn't go away. I didn't want something that so many people had put time, energy and money into to just go away. Unfortunately that's not a good enough motivator. At least not for me.

I find myself spending 2-3 days per week scheduling and attending events that I probably wouldn't go to otherwise, socializing with people who are great, but not necessarily the people I'd like to be socializing with at the time. I've met several wonderful friends in this group and I would love to pursue friendships with them outside of the group, but I don't feel that I can at this point. I feel like these friendships are decaying because I don't have enough time or energy to put into them because of group obligations.

Add into that the group of women who have decided to join another local group. I'm more than fine with this. As a matter of fact I was a member of that group for some time while I was a member of my current group. It just wasn't really a good fit for me so I left. However, this group of women have become somewhat negative toward my group. Recently a couple of them RSVP'd to an event with my group, but actually attended with their other group. Hell, one of them I didn't even recognize and she's apparently been a member for years! I've just only met her briefly before. It really bothered me and it probably shouldn't have. A year ago, or even 6 months ago this wouldn't have bothered me all that much, but the other day it really did. I felt useless and dumb. I don't need to feel this way.

So what do I do? I feel like a dick taking the group just to dump it two months later. And if I do step down I don't think anyone will take over, which is probably fine. But there is a little bit of a bank account to go with it and I just don't want to deal with the inevitable estrogen-bathed fallout that will occur.

Don't get me wrong, I like most of the women involved in this group, I really do. Overall I've met a lot of great people that I would totally still hang out with. Hell, I'd probably get to hang out with them more were it not for this group.

Blah, this is shit I shouldn't even be talking about on a blog that some of the members probably know about. Maybe I'm looking for advice, maybe I'm just looking for an offer for a free beer.  Who knows.

Blah

I know I've said this before, but I really hate January. Everything is wet, dirty and just blah. It's really the only time of the year that I actually get depressed, and I definitely have been this year. It's not really the cold that bothers me, but more just the same-ness.  It's always kind of grey, it's always below 30, the snow is always just dirty, etc. I had a friend who used to go tan to make herself feel better in January. I'd do that if a) I didn't hate myself with a tan and b) my freckled ass, having grown up in Arizona, is about one overly bright reading lamp away from a skin cancer outbreak.

Before anyone gets terribly concerned about my being depressed, I assure you my depression doesn't really go much past OMGIHATEJANUARY, which is easily cured by February (well, the last half of February, the first half is really just extended January). Hopefully I'll be crawling out of this funk soon seeing as tomorrow is the beginning of February.

In the meantime I've made a list of 10 things that don't really suck to remind myself not to be such an fun vacuum.

1.   Tomorrow is February
2.   Gamicon is coming up. I've always thought of Gamicon as my "soft launch" of Spring. Yes, haters, I know that Spring doesn't start in February. I also know that it is cold in February. However, I do know that the weather actually freaking changes in February. And that is all I need.
3.   Maggie is going to walk any day now, and that's always fun.
4.   I have the best husband ever.
5.   Molly turns 5 this month, that means she will go to Kindergarten soon, which I am very much looking forward to. We are both so.very.ready.
6.   I have 3 healthy, fun children (who are currently playing in the cereal).
6.5 I have above a 99% chance of NOT having any more! Yay surgery!
7.   I get to stay home with my kids and go to museums and parks and fun places.
8.   I have awesome friends to talk to at above places.
9.   We might get actual cancel school snow tomorrow night. I'm really looking forward to that, I could use a snowed-in day. Plus, it might be fun to be able to go out and play in the snow if it's not too cold.
10. My new living room furniture is ordered and should be here this month!  Yay!

Comebacks

In the shower this morning I remembered some vaguely rude thing someone said to me and I finally came up with a wonderfully biting comment that would have surely put her in her place. You know, if I hadn't thought of it two weeks late, in the shower, alone. I hate that! It's so unfair! I can count on one hand the number of times I've had timely comebacks to random rudeness.

One of my favorite times (and I know some of y'all have heard this one) was when Molly was a little under a year. It was a gorgeous Fall day. It was sunny and around 60-65 degrees. I picked Molly up from daycare and we went to the Post Office. I had dressed her relatively warmly that day; she was probably overdressed for the weather, so I didn't worry about putting a sweater or coat on her. She had also taken her shoes and socks off, but again, 60 degrees, so I didn't bother to put them back on for the 10 foot walk to the door.

There was quite a line in the post office, so Molly and I got behind two older ladies and began to wait. The two ladies kept glancing back at us, I kind assumed that they were looking at my super cute baby (or maybe me, who knows how they swing), but I was wrong, mostly. They were looking at my baby, but not because she was disturbingly cute, but because she was, in their opinion, woefully under-dressed for the frigid weather. Of course they didn't tell me that directly, instead they had a conversation in front of me.

Hag 1: Oh, my, that poor baby.
Hag 2: That's just terrible, poor thing.
Hag 1: Not even wearing socks, let alone boots.
Hag 2: I wonder where her coat is.

Molly coughs as she was getting over a bit of a cold (I liked to refer to the colds she got in daycare as kennel cough. I know, I'm awful).

Hag 2: (Very loudly) If that baby were dressed properly, she wouldnt be so sick!

Me: (Just as loud) Oh, that? She didn't get that cough from being cold, she probably got it from licking the floor at the mall when we were there the other day, don't worry about it.

They just stared at me. One of them may have forked the evil eye at me, not entirely sure. Other people in line laughed and I had my moment of glory. Four years later and I still roll that little memory out for myself every time I have a missed comeback.

Crappy Day

I had a crappy day yesterday. Nobody died, nobody even got terribly maimed (maybe a little maimed...but eventually Max will have feeling in his hands again) and everyone was fine at the end of the day.  It was one of those first-world, my diamond shoes are too tight kind of problem days. I probably should have bucked up, thought of people who had it worse and stuff, but instead, (probably because it's January, and January sucks my ass) I chose to just wallow in self-pity. By that, I mean I cried on the couch a lot.

Seriously.  I did.

The crying really had more to do with the book I was reading.  I finally, after all of these years, got around to reading The Dark Tower, and yesterday I was getting near the end of Book 7.  Book made me cry like a little bitch. Granted, I was already in a relatively self-pitying, miserable mood, but still, that didn't matter, I totally would have cried anyway.

But anyway, bad things happened, but really, they weren't all that bad.  All easily solvable.  I was going to give you a little laundry list of all the terrible things that happened, but honestly, I can't remember most of them today. Don't get me wrong, there were a couple of really sucky things (my laptop starting its death rattle, forgetting Max's gloves, and him almost getting frostbite, the lack of babysitter for Saturday--okay, so I do remember a lot of them, nevermind), but overall the day wasn't that bad.  I think it mostly had to do with the fact that it's cold and it's January, and like I said earlier, January really, really sucks.  Oh well, it's almost over, but I'm looking forward to February.

Haven't posted...resolution...will post more, etc.

I haven't been posting. I don't know why, believe me, I have plenty to say, I guess it's just that I don't have plenty to type or something. I didn't really make a "resolution" to post more, but now that the holiday craziness is over, I would definitely like to post more.  Writing, even poorly, is probably a good use of my rapidly depleting mental capacities.  Far better than watching my son lick his spilled water off the table, which is what I was just doing.

So yeah, more posting, more bitching, etc.  I can't promise every day, 'cause it would get so boring, so quickly. Seriously, I'd probably have to resort to shopping lists. Although that could be fun, you could totally judge my choices and shit, like "OMG, I can't believe she's not buying free-range nuggets to go with her Annie's frozen fries!"  But I won't do that to you.  Yet.  I mean, I can't promise there won't be lists, because I like lists, but they probably won't be shopping lists.

Because I'm an asshole

You know when you're driving along, minding your own business and out of nowhere some asshole in a huge car nearly mows you down?  Yeah, that happened to me the other day.  The being the asshole in the huge car and nearly mowing someone down part.

After dropping Molly off at preschool I was heading home with the other two kids and was clearly just not paying enough attention.  Short explanation is this, I stayed in the right lane, which turns into a turn lane even though I really wanted to go straight.  And once I realized my mistake (by "realized" I mean that the driver to the left of me, who was in the correct lane began honking at me and flipping me off) I didn't fix it, no, I compounded that shit.  Instead of just stopping, waiting for the honking car to pass, then gracefully slipping into the correct lane I decided to just turn right.  Mostly because I can't stand to be anywhere near the driver/vehicle I have just wronged.  It's just so goddamned embarrassing.  Seriously, I know they're still swearing at me and mentally re-hashing my bad driving.  That's what I do...and I know I'm not the only person who does that.

But anyway, so I decide to turn right, completely ignoring the fact that I'm almost a whole car- (and by car, I mean super-swank, sexy-bitch minivan) length past the turn.  Yeah.  So I basically execute this bastardized u-turn onto the side street.

The side street that has an oncoming SUV.  Who has slammed on her brakes.

And is also flipping me off.

Fuck.

At that point I pretty much just ducked underneath the dashboard and slammed the gas pedal home to escape my humiliation.  Okay, not really.  But I may have sped away from the scene a little bit.

And taught my two year old how to say fuck 'cause he can kind of talk now.  Yay, speech therapy!

Anyway, we lived, little man isn't dropping the f-bombs like I was afraid he might, but I still can't bear to drive down Benton street.

Here's a little pictorial re-enactment for your viewing pleasure. You can stop being jealous of my amazing art skills now, too.

I'm the red arrow.  The purple arrows are my innocent victims.  The little asterisk thingies?  When they started hurling obscenities at me.

Belated Wordless Wednesday - Chocolate + Car = Rookie Mistake

Karma is a fucking bitch

It is.  And not just the Karma that I worked with a long time ago, 'cause she was kind of a bitch, but not like a fucking bitch...just kind of bitchy.  But anyway, I mean the other karma.

Four and a half years ago I had a baby.  A lovely baby girl who decided that she would sleep through the night pretty consistently from about 4 weeks on.  Oh, we had a few nights where this didn't happen, and a period at about 10 months where she had some issues, but on the whole, girlfriend pretty much just slept.

At different points throughout Molly's babyhood I may have said (and by "may have" I mean OMG, I actually said this shit) things like, "I'm not tired, I don't understand what all the fuss is, they sleep through the night pretty quickly."  That's not really a direct quote, but it's a good summary of my thoughts on the subject at the time; a good representative statement.

And then I had Max.  Who didn't sleep through the night until he was about 16 months old.  He usually woke up once, but more often twice during the night.

And now I have Maggie, who has slept through the night a few times.  But apparently, that was just to mock me.  She wakes up a couple times during the night.  But I don't care, because I have given up.  I am old and I am tired and I really like not being a zombie during the day.  So Maggie just comes to bed with me and we both sleep.  Mostly.

Take that, karma.

I am f&*king lame

I am.

I just read 64 reviews of steam mops.  Which, in and of itself, is pretty goddamned lame, but then I ran across this.  I totally want one.  I was so excited about it that I even emailed it to my husband.

Now he probably thinks I'm lame, too.

I need another hobby apparently.  Not saying that my hobby is mopping floors, 'cause it's certainly not.  My floors are in desperate need of mopping, and I don't mean that in any metaphoric sense, I just mean that seriously, my floors like crunch when you walk on them right now.

Maybe I should actually you know, mop, instead of just reading reviews by people who do.

Yeah, I'll get on that now.

MIA

I've been totally MIA due to out of town guests, backyard tree clearing and general apathy.  No worries, I do have plenty to say, just haven't had the time to say it, but will again after tomorrow.

Thanks for crushing my ego, come again!

Have you ever had one of those days when you feel like everything is going perfectly then somebody's seemingly benign little comment completely kills your awesomeness? Yeah, that totally happened to me the other day.

I had taken the kids to the children's museum and it was great. Seriously. Max only ran off once, and it wasn't even that far away. And he even let me catch him. Molly was nice to other kids and she never even complained about going to the farm room so that it would be easier to feed Maggie. So not like my daughter to be complaint free, but she was. We even met a few new friends, which is always a lot fun. We just had a great time.

Then we ate lunch and went to Target. Lunch was amazing. Max actually sat and ate his lunch. Target was even better. Molly didn't have one tantrum.* Not even a minor bitch-fest.

Then it was time to leave. Baby in stroller, toddler on my back and Molly holding onto the stroller while we navigated the busy parking lot. Military precision! It was so smooth I even had time to leisurely sip my latte!**

Enter older woman (it's always an older woman) who hustled halfway across a parking lot to ask me if I needed any help because I "looked completely overwhelmed." yes, that is a direct mother fucking quote (if you were wondering, iPad totally separates mother fucking into two words--least it doesn't make it mother ducking like my Droid does). She did this all while grabbing my son's ass in obvious fear that he was going to fall out of his carrier which I assure you has never happened.

I was really flustered and kind of laughed/giggled very strangely and said no, I was perfectly fine. I once again sipped my latte*** to prove just how fine I was, then I continued onto my car. She followed for a couple feet with an odd look of concern/doubt/disapproval on her face before turning around and going into the mall.

Totally killed all of my warm fuzzy feelings. I spent the next 45 minutes (I took the long way home to force naps and have some quiet time) wondering why somebody would think I looked overwhelmed. Did she think I look frazzled? Did I sound upset or overwhelmed? Do I just look generally incompetent? I don't think it was any of those. Honestly, I think it was mostly the carrier. Baby on my back = OMG overwhelmed/hands full to a lot of people. Once I reminded myself of that I totally regained all of my awesomeness.

Awesomeness that I am going to need to need today. Because today is kind of sucking right now. Where's concerned woman when I really need her?

*Molly doesn't tantrum all of the time, but Target does seem to be a huge trigger for her for some reason. If there's going to be a huge tantrum, it's going to be at Target.

**It was really a Diet Pepsi from Taco Bell, but "latte" sounds so much more stay-at-home mommy.

***Still not a latte, see above. Also, "latte" sounds so much more relaxed than Diet Pepsi for some reason...

What lurks beneath

Here's a picture of my daughter's cute little "I Love Mommy" cat PJ's.

It's cute, isn't it?  Sweet little kitty hanging out on her mommy's head, hanging out in my daughter's pajama pocket for no discernible reason. 

Until you look a little bit closer.

Cute little kitties, my ass.  Freak show kitty has no fucking legs.  No wonder she's hanging around in a pair of pink infant PJ's; it's not like she can just jump out.

Stupid amputee cat.  It's likely giving my daughter a lifelong fear of legless cats.

Wordless Wednesday

Mornings

My favorite time of the day has become morning.  Really.  Early morning, right when I wake up.  Because my husband is made of facial hair and awesome, he gets up with the two older kids, leaving me to lounge about feed Maggie in bed. 

Feeding does happen, but mostly it's just general cuddling and smiling and giggling.  Maggie wakes up so happy in the morning that it should be illegal. She giggles, she "talks" to me, and she pets my face.  And I love it.

I didn't get to do this as much with the older kids because most mornings were filled with showers, feedings and daycare supply gathering.  I never got this extra chunk of time every day to just hang out with my babies doing nothing.  I really wish I had because it's so wonderful.

I know it won't last forever, Maggie's almost 6 months old* now, and she's already on the move.  Pretty soon she'll be crawling out of bed with her brother and sister, But for now, she's perfectly content just hanging out with me, hogging my bed, and I'm perfectly fine with that.


*6 months is the most magical of baby ages.  Six-month old babies are great, they are the reason people keep having babies.  They are giggly and sweet and cute.  They do not run around growling at people in malls, they do not climb on your counters and try to eat your cell phones.  They sleep, they poop, they smile, they stay where you put 'em (mostly) and they think you are the funniest, most awesome-est person on the entire planet. 

Random Sunday stuff

I'm far too scattered for an actual post, but I feel like I haven't posted enough.  And writing is good for me, stops the brain atrophy or something.  So you get a list of random thoughts I've had over the last day or two.

Yesterday we were watching the Hawkeyes game and every time Ricky Stanzi took off his helmet and ran his fingers through his flowing locks (and they have definitely reached that stage of hair growth) I kept expecting them to run it in slow motion.  That would have been awesome.

Speaking of football, I noticed that Hy-Vee actually opens up on game day Saturdays at 6 a.m. as opposed to their typical 8 or 10 a.m. or whatever it is.  Fall is a great time to be an alcoholic in Iowa City, even with the ridiculous new tailgating rules.  I'll have to remember that if my painfully suburban life leads me to the bottle.

Last football thing, and this is a fake football thing, but still important to me.  I really needs to get season 4 of Friday Night Lights.  I love that tv show, and you would too if you watched it.  Seriously, watch it.  Then we can talk about Kyle Chandler's hair.

I have 3 things shipping to me and they should all be here tomorrow (companies/people shipping on Fridays are bastards--just sayin').  I fucking love getting packages.  I'm excited like it's Christmas or something.  I even debated bailing on a park activity that I'm taking the kids to, just in case my packages come early, because I love being home when I get packages.  It's an overlooked perk to being a stay at home mom.  At least for me it is.  But anyway, I won't bail on the activity, not only because I'm an awesome mom (okay, sometimes--like today, when I made carrot cake cupcakes, or is it carrot cupcakes, whatever), but because I know our mailman is always late.  We'll go, we'll have fun and when I get home I get new stuff!  Yay me!

Last thing.  I feel all awkward and self-conscious because my husband knows I'm blogging, so I know he'll read it when he's done reading to the kids 'cause he's awesome that way.  But I'm well aware that this posting is kind of lame and I don't want him to be all disappointed in me.  Shit.  I'll do better next time, I promise.

Children of the Cloth*

There are whole blogs devoted to cloth diapering.  Really.  Whole blogs.  And yes, I have subscribed to some of them.  Why?  Well, anybody who reads this blog (all 2? of you--hi!) knows that I do cloth diaper my babies, and have for quite some time.  I thought that these blogs might have some useful tips and/or tricks**, but really, they don't.  They do have product reviews, which could be nice if you're in the market for new cloth diapers.  But mostly it's just OHMYGODMYCLOTHDIAPERSARESOFREAKINGCUTE wanking.

Over diapers.
You know, the things babies shit in and you have to either wash or throw away.
Yeah, those.

I mean yeah, they're cute and all, and maybe it's me who's weird, but I just can't get all worked up over them.  In my mind they're for befouling, not for mixing, matching and obsessing over.  Yeah, occasionally I know that Maggie's diaper is going to be visible underneath a dress, and I might choose a diaper or cover that kind of matches, but I certainly don't go out of my way to do it.  I have one of the simpler diaper stashes*** around.  Basically two kinds, and 3 colors.  And I see absolutely no reason to go beyond that.  For me, cloth diapering was about simplifying my life, spending less money and maybe, just maybe leaving a slightly smaller footprint than one normally does with three kids.

But for some people that's not so true.  There seems to be a whole subculture of people who have made cloth diapering a hobby.  They're willing to spend hundreds, even thousands of dollars on a huge stash of diapers in different prints and colors.  One company**** has really cashed in on this and offers limited edition diapers that go for $25-$35 dollars.  These things get wait-listed.  Waist-listed, people, for diapers.

Now don't get me wrong, if you have the money, and you want to spend it this way, more power to you.  There are far worse things to collect (and let's face it, that's what you're doing at this point--collecting) than cloth diapers (Precious Moments figurines come to mind).  But I think that these types of blogs and cloth diaperers (not a word, I know--stop judging me) do a disservice to cloth diapering.  When I first went searching for advice I was completely overwhelmed by what seemed to be an endless supply of options.  Expensive options.  These women own a lot of fucking diapers (a shitload?).  I was looking to save money, not spend it.

Fortunately there are a couple of forums out there that have reasonable advice from average everyday cloth diapering families.  Using a lot of this information I was able to put a very reasonable (boring) stash together for relatively little money.  There is really noo need for a ton of diapers, 'cause no matter how many you have you've still got to wash them pretty often 'cause people shit in them.  No need for fancy either, just soft and absorbent.  If this type of information were more available to the average "cloth diaper" google-er that more people might try it (I'm going to assume that a person who's gone out of his/her way to actually google cloth diapers has already gone beyond the OMG there's poop factor).  And that's not a bad thing.


*This is a bad reference to Children of the Corn.  No, I don't usually compare that movie to my kids' diapers, but I was also thinking that it feels like early fall today and that soon it would be time to watch that movie.  I watch it every year in the fall.

**There can definitely be tips/tricks involved in cloth diapering.  Yes, I do realize that the mechanics behind it are crazy simple.  Insert cloth, shit, remove, wash, repeat.  But, there can be washing issues, fabric issues, putting them on issues, etc.  Unfortunately the typical cloth diaper blog answer to these questions involves buying more stuff that you can only get from online companies.

***Stash in this case does not refer to the same thing it did when we were in college.  Amongst the mommy spends too much money circles (cloth diaperers, babywearers) it also refers to your collection of cloth diapers or baby carriers.  I don't know how that term came into use.  I have theories.  I'd go into them, but my son is climbing on the counter.

****Yes, I know they're handmade with organic fabric by WAHMs (work at home moms) who get a living wage, etc.  But I don't care.  Let those bitches go to Tot Lot and make silly blogs like the rest of us.

Plastic Bags and Chewing Gum

On Monday we went to the co-op.  The Iowa City one.  Definitely not the one in Coralville.  Still can't bring myself to re-visit the scene of that crime.  Well, they also don't carry what I was planning on buying.  It was a pretty enjoyable trip on the whole, kids were good, found what we needed, etc.  Oh, and I got a Blue Sky soda.  I know I've mentioned my Blue Sky love before.  Unfortunately I committed one of the larger co-op faux pas.  I forgot to bring my own bag.

I'm really not a wasteful, terrible person who wants to paper our earth with little plastic bags of death or anything.  I did have a nice reusable bag with me that I intended to use.  I just forgot it in the car because I spent so much time trying to get everything else all NewPi ready, which is quite a process with three kids in tow.

First, I rearranged the clothes on the two younger ones so that a good chunk of cloth diaper was sticking out.  That way everyone would know that I totally love earth and am trying not to overflow our landfills.  Then I made sure to put not one, but two children into carriers, one on back, one on front.  No stroller for me in the co-op, I made that mistake once.  Nobody likes a NAV* in the co-op, somewhat understandably as it does have small aisles. I then talked Molly out of bringing a Disney Princess Barbie with us.  Too bad I don't have any Waldorf dolls to use as props.  And lastly, I pulled my faux leather wallet out of my real leather purse so as not to offend any wandering Vegans.  And then I forgot the reusable bag.

I was so ashamed at the check-out counter when he asked if I needed to purchase a plastic bag.  When I told him that I had forgotten mine in the car he so didn't believe me!  There was a bit of an eyeroll.  But he wasn't so bad.  It was the older woman behind me.  She totally gave me a 'bitch, I know you club baby seals while shamelessly spraying Aqua Net' look.  It's just a bag.  One bag.  That I've reused already.  Twice (well, the last use was as a garbage bag--does that count?).  Besides, I have two kids in cloth diapers.  I've built up some environmental karma (that I totally squander by being a terrible recycler--I plan on changing that, really, I do).

Then we skulked out of there with our plastic bag of shame.  Somewhere between the door of the co-op and our car (about 30 feet) my daughter found a prize.  She tucked it away in her hand and waited until I was on the other side of the car, getting her brother into his car seat to pull it out.  Pretty clever plan on the whole.  Except for the I have a sense of smell part.  Because even though the gum she found was already chewed, it was still quite fragrant having sat in the hot sun for who the hell knows how long.  That was awesome.

*NAV = Natal Assault Vehicle

Wordless Wednesday - Thanks, Max!

Loading Zones

I feel like ranting.  I've been holding onto this rant for two days now, since I went shopping on Friday.  My husband has heard this one like a million times before so I thought I'd take it here.  So now he can read about it instead of hearing about it, which probably sucks about the same amount.  Sorry.  I know I have like 4 readers, one of whom is my husband, and now I'm alienating him.  Oops. 

So anyway, here it is.  I fucking hate it when people pull their cars into a store's loading zone to load/unload passengers when it's raining (or snowing--I'm just picking on rain right now 'cause it's still summer).  Unless your passenger is rocking a pointy hat and green skin, he/she can probably walk across the parking lot in the rain without any serious damage.  And if getting wet is a really an issue I've been told that there's something on the market that can help keep a majority of the rain off of a person.

I know, there are some exceptions.  It can be difficult for some handicapped or elderly people to walk in the rain, It can be a bit slippery, and it can wreak havoc with walkers and wheelchairs.  However, it's not typically these people taking up precious loading zone space.  Nine times out of ten, it's someone with an infant.  There's nothing worse than seeing a young couple pull their shiny new OMG-we're-having-a-baby SUV up to the door of the local Target, take out their covered baby bucket, put the covered baby bucket into the stroller, pull the cover up over that, before finally pushing the giant travel system into the store after having blocked that loading zone for about 10 minutes. 

Now, I feel like I can speak with a little bit of authority on this as I've had a few children myself, so here goes.  Babies can get wet.  No, really, they can.  They'll be okay, they're pretty resilient.  Some babies even get regular baths and they're okay.  Also, that little hood thing on your baby bucket carseat, and that hood thing on your stroller?  Yeah, those help keep the baby dry.  Baby's going to be fine.  Just park, unload, and hurry into the store.  If you're worried enough about inclement weather that you need to take special precautions just to load/unload, then stay home.

Why do I hate this so much?  How does it affect me?  Because it's never just one car doing it.  It's several.  Every person who thinks they're too damned special to walk in the rain pulls up into the loading zone, and at any given time you have 3-5 cars blocking a good chunk of major parking lot thoroughfare.  It's dangerous.  Vehicles driving through the parking lot have less room to maneuver and more importantly, they're less likely to see pedestrians stepping off the curb.  Given the fact that visibility is already likely hampered by the poor weather, this additional impediment dramatically increases the risk for everybody involved.

It's especially bad at our local grocery store right now as it is under massive re-construction and their parking lot not in the best condition now as part of it is blocked off.  Add to that 3 SUV's sitting in front of their door and you've got a truly dangerous situation.  On Friday night when I was shopping I watched several near-misses of both the bumper-bumper and bumper-person variety.

It sucks having to go out in bad weather to do something you likely don't want to do, I get that.  And sometimes there are valid reasons for needing to use the loading zone, that's why it's there.  But please, people, be smart about it.  Use it when it's truly necessary, and don't take all day doing it.  Load/unload, but be quick about it.  Don't put other people in danger if you don't have to.

I'm done ranting, I'll save my parking space stalker rant for later.

Molly Explains it all - Tylenol

Molly has a fever, so we gave her some Tylenol.  Right after she finished it she came over to tell me how it's made.  I typed it as she spoke, so it's pretty accurate.

Tylenol is made out of purple strawberries.  First, you take a strawberry and you paint it purple.  A sweet strawberry, then you let it dry.  When it's dry, you slice a little of the purple strawberry and you mix it with a big little mixer thing.  Then you mix it with glue, to make it good.  Then you put a purple candy in to make it sweet, then a steak.  The steak and an ingredient help make it sweet.  Then you put a bead in it, it's a bead you can eat.  Then you put it in a big bottle and you shake it.

And there you go, the top secret Tylenol manufacturing process.